The 'American Idol' Finale: Kris Allen Wins
By Dave Itzkoff AND JON CARAMANICA
This is a live blog of the "American Idol" finale. Refresh this page for the latest updates.
Fox, via Associated Press
The "American Idol" finalists Adam Lambert, left, and Kris Allen, with the host Ryan Seacrest.
Upset! Kris Allen Wins | 10:01 p.m.
D.I. After the nationwide vote, the winner is: Kris Allen! This is totally stunning, come on!
Did you see this coming?
J..C. I was, honestly, totally prepared for this. I'm not happy about it, but I was prepared.
D.I. Kris seems genuinely shocked. His first words : "Adam deserves this."
He's speechless.
J.C. Folks, prepare for a year of this inarticulateness.
D.I. Simon Cowell is not standing up. Do you think he's protesting?
J.C. Simon was happier about Taylor Hicks than this.
J.C. Again, the dirty secret: Kris's version of this song was better than Adam's.
D.I. Can I be diabolical for one moment?
J.C. Please.
D.I. Since they knew Adam would have a strong career, First place or Second place, why not throw it to Kris and make it more surprising/controve rsial?
J.C. Next you'll tell me there's no tooth fairy!
The problem with that is, in a week, after the heat dies down, then you've got Kris as your Idol
He couldn't shoulder that burden.
I believe this is America's vision, Dave. And now I don't have to rewrite the lede of my piece.
D.I. So did we coastal elites underestimate the massive mainstream vote that Kris would deliver?
J.C. First, careful about that "we." Second, yes.
Kris Allen will have songs on VH1 and modern soft-rock radio for at least a little while
Not that anyone will notice.
D.I. I think you've got a good point. The "Idol" audience is that mainstream, middle of the road crowd. That's the Jason Mraz crowd.
J.C. Soft rock has been back for years, quietly. Now it's loud.
Tick Tick Tick | 10:00 p.m.
D.I. This is it, they tell us. Simon: "I don't normally mean this, I thought you were both brilliant."
J.C. Simon swallowed a happy pill. Or thinks he's looking at Susan Boyle and Shaheen Jafargholi.
No Winner Yet | 9:58 p.m.
D.I. Are they going to drop this bombshell in under 30 seconds? Or are we going long?
They Are the Champions … of the World? | 9:54 p.m.
D.I. The long awaited Adam - Kris duet: "We Are the Champions."
J..C. Obviously suited for Adam.
D.I. The coronation continues. Kris is just happy for a few more minutes of TV time.
D.I. And Brian May! And the entire population of San Diego!
That is a lot of fog.
J.C. Is this is the moment where Kris knows he lost?
J.C. And David Hasslehoff! I hope he cries again.
D.I. Didn't Queen just split with Nile Rodgers? They're looking for a new singer.
Ouch, more bright flashes than that new "Star Trek" movie.
J.C. A ridiculously poor showing for Kris there - it was like he was laying the reference vocal, and then Adam showed up to sing the real song.
D.I. You're like Ed Norton at the end of "Fight Club," Jon. Your eyes have been opened to the truth.
J.C. That there is no truth? Relativist.
Commercial Break | 9:50 p.m.
J.C. I wish someone would win already.
D.I. I predict still one more commercial before they do the deed.
J.C. Maybe two.
The Final Golden Idol | 9:44 p.m.
D.I. The Last Golden Idol of the evening!
Outstanding Female:
Chelsea Marquandt
Irene Anguilova (No comment)
Dana Mareno (Simon: "You can't sing those big songs.")
Tatiana Del Toro ("To every guy that told me I had to sleep with him to get my album out, this is for you.)
D.I. The winner: Tatiana Del Toro. Hands down.
J.C. One last Tatiana titter for time.
D.I. They won't even let her on the stage! Wait, sorry, totally staged. My bad.
J.C. The shame is, she's not a terrible singer. Possibly a terrible person, but not a terrible singer.
D.I. She's like American Idol's version of "The Picture of Dorian Gray." All of its sins and transgressions reflected back at itself.
'Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?' | 9:38 p.m.
D.I. Is Rod Stewart in the wings? Predict now!
J.C. It's always amusing how much more put together the finalist look in these numbers than the people who got eliminated 2 months ago.
D.I. TOLDJA! Rod Stewart is in the house. Delivered by mechanical contraption of some sort.
This is not the strongest "Maggie May" he's ever sung.
J.C. He's reduced to rasp.
D.I. Seriously, who is this karaoke singer who showed up tonight?
J.C. Also I'd like to see a little more volume in the hair..
D.I. When they have to cut away to the nodding bass guitarist, you are in trouble.
J.C. Wonder what's happening on "Criminal Minds" right now …
D.I. I'm guessing fewer corpses.
Steve Martin! | 9:23 p.m.
D.I. Holy cats — Steve Martin on "Idol!" On the banjo!
J.C.. Dave, this is for YOU.
D.I. This is more exciting than when the new phonebooks arrived! (A reference to "The Jerk," of course..)
Even on Idol, Steve Martin looks super-serious. Like he's doing calculus in his head while he plays banjo.
J.C. I feel like he's suppressing a sneer. I know I am.
Megan Joy left her charm somewhere in Week 4.
D.I. Do you think they think of Steve Martin as the guy from all those "Cheaper by the Dozen" movies?
J.C. I thought they know him as the guy who writes those wacky Shouts & Murmurs columns in the New Yorker!
D.I. They're like, "Wow! I just performed with the guy who wrote 'Picasso at the Lapin Agile.'"
J.C. Where's Andy Borowitz?
A New Car! | 9:31 p.m.
D.I. They've both won Ford hybrids?!?
J.C. Did you see that? David Cook will give you a car if you bump into him. Bailout — whatever!
Carlos Santana | 9:23 p.m.
D.I. Who sings with him on "Black Magic Woman?" And do they have an extra hour to spare for this performance?
J.C Hey, we're not talking about Rush here.
D.I. Trust me, I used to be a college DJ. A song like this was secret code for bathroom break.
J.C. Back to the dueling pianos, Matt Giraud! Justin Timberlake sleeps easy tonight.
D.I. They seem to believe any song that sounds good with one singer would only be improved if it had 13 singers.
J.C. Again, "Kids Incorporated."
D.I. I realize we've invoked the specter of "Kids Incorporated" a few times tonight, but surely this is no accident.
J.C. Gokey is looking very Jason Giambi-ish. Has Camryn Manheim left her seat since last night?
D.I. The video for "I Will Remember You," featuring both Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. It's not the Sarah McLachlan song, unfortunately.
J.C. Un?
--
Together, we can change the world, one mind at a time.
Have a great day,
Tommy
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