For breakfast, an order of crow.
But first this -- I demand a recount. Can the Supreme Court get involved in this? Should that lawyer who worked for Al Gore back in 2000 get a call? On second thought, maybe not him.
A pox on the "American Idol" electorate. To repeat myself until blue, purple, green in the face: Does anyone anywhere really truly believe the best singer won tonight? In all my years of "Idolatry," this was the single grossest miscarriage of justice I've ever witnessed here. So bad that it calls into question the whole damn enterprise which is -- and I quote -- TO FIND THE BEST DAMN POP SINGER ON THE PLANET. Not the cutest, or nicest, or sweetest, or most pleasant, or most agreeable, or gosh-darned wonderful.
To find the best damn singer. Period. This year, miracle of miracles, silly old "Idol" did exactly that. Lambert's one of the best this show has ever produced, and instead of winning for all the right reasons, he lost for all the wrong ones -- too ambiguous, too glam, too left or right coast, too not-cute-enough.
How else could this happen? Simple theory: Fans of Danny Gokey sided with Kris Allen.
But enough of my rant. Congrats to Kris. Great kid. Fine talent. Good for him. On the jump, the newspaper wrap, plus some other quickie observations about the night, and finale -- which I thought was actually very good all in all, with the exception of the last three seconds. (And thanks for reading all this "Idol" stuff on "Zone" this season. I hope and pray no one put $ down on my prediction for the finale; refunds not available.)
Now, let's see what's on the menu for breakfast...
Ya want "upset?" Then did last night work for you?
In easily the biggest, wackiest, wildest, and -- just to add a little extra topping here -- most unexpected upset in "American Idol" history, Kris Allen was crowned champ of the eighth season.
Yes, a shocker.
Even Simon looked like he was about ready to faint. Kris, too.
"It feels good, man," he said, or blurted. "But Adam deserves this. This is crazy."
Yeah, crazy.
Since Hollywood, Adam Lambert -- who wailed, strutted, and was sartorial writ large, with eyeliner, and body-length coats -- was the favorite. But "favorite" for whom? Lambert was also "glam," while his sexuality was also -- to use the politically correct term -- ambiguous, which led to some in the press and blogosphere to wonder whether Allen would draw bigger crowds of the female 'tweens and teens considered crucial to victory.
By contrast, Allen – native of Arkansas and a student at the University of Central Arkansas -- was and is a sweet-faced crooner with highly competent chops and an ability to connect with enough fans to push him past a rival who's been front-runner almost since the final twelve rounds began. Yet week after week, Allen kept pushing past someone, anyone, who was considered more likely to go forward. Clearly, someone out there liked him a lot. His best performances? There were many, like "To Make You Feel My Love" in Grand Ole Opry week, or "The Way You Look Tonight" on the Ratpack edition, or maybe his own personal signature, the Bill Withers standard, "Ain't No Sunshine."
And some other highlights from last night . . .
* Bleeped at "American Idol" finale? The Black Eyed Peas were. While singing "Boom Boom Pow," the sound suddenly died,the picture disappeared, and...a few words apparently deemed not suitable for 35 million (or so) viewers or the FCC magically disappeared. Meanwhile, Fergie ("Big Girls Don't Cry"), and other stars -- like Keith Urban, singing with Allen -- got by the censors just fine.
* "The Golden Idol Awards" are "Idol" finale's little backward glance at those contestants so bad they were good. Like: Norman Gentle (AKA by his real name, Nick
Mitchell). Or: Bikini Girl, AKA by HER real name, Katrina Darrell. They won last night, and BG nemesis, Kara DioGuardi, sang with her in an unexpected moment of amity. Kara has chops. Bikini has not.
* Night of duets: A good touch for for the last night, and certainly the most memorable one - big stars singing with big "Idols," like Cyndi Lauper, and Allison Iraheta ... Danny Gokey/Lionel Ritchie ...
* David Cook, singing "Permanent." Nice opening, and a reminder that last year's winner was richly deserving. Of Kris Allen and Adam Lambert, he noted: "I don't know that America can get this wrong." Last year's winner's a pretty good diplomat as well.
-Vote in our poll of why Kris Allen beat Adam Lambert (Please just vote once, the idea is to see what people think, not how many times you can click)
1) -Click here for photos of all of Adam Lambert's "American Idol" outfits this season
-Click here for photos of all of Kris Allen's "American Idol" outfits this season
2) Photos of Adam, Kris and Danny with their hometown fans | "American Idol" trading cards
3) Inside the after-party for the 13 "American Idol" finalists
--
Together, we can change the world, one mind at a time.
Have a great day,
Tommy
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